Ok everyone, listen up.
What I am about to share with you is classified information. I have only disclosed this to people who I think can truly handle this, and if you are following me you are among the lucky few.
What I am about to tell you is the name of a product so grand and mighty that only the strong can be blessed with the knowledge of its existence. This is a product that, if you can handle it, will change your skin in more ways than you can imagine.